Thing

Tell someone he is worthless, that he is lesser than a worm in this world. Tell him he is not human anymore, tell him those things all the time, and eventually, he will believe you.

My head hurt, my stomach felt like a whirlpool has settled inside it and for god sake’s – why was it so cold, or was it hot?
I opened my eyes slowly, I wanted to ask for water but my throat felt too sour, the pain hummed inside my head, stomach and any other part of my body, the air around me was either freezing cold or suffocating hot – I could not distinguish between the two.
I was lying on my bed, the darkness was just because the lights were out, and I was covered by a thick blanket – thus the heavy, suffocating heat.
I got up, my eyes were heavy, like I either haven’t slept for weeks or slept too much.
I went to the door; my legs failed me from standing straight and I almost fell a few times, but managed myself by leaning on the wall.
I stopped for a bit, I could not breathe normally, the collar was choking me the farther I gone toward the door, pulling me back.
When I looked behind me I realized why that was – a chain, not a heavy one but a small, thin chain, was stretched between the collar and the bed, locked on both sides.
I tried to pull it a bit, it didn’t move at all.
“Jack… Jack…!” I yelled, “Jack!!!”
A few minutes have passed and the door opened, the room filled with light at once, blinding me.
“Eros…” Jack stood there, his eyes watching me carefully. “You’re awake?”
“Why am I tied?” I asked back with a harsh voice, “Why did you do that to me? Release it…”
I tried to pull it once more, the chain just rustled in return and Jack came in the room and caught my hands, holding them tight.
“Eros, you’ll wake up everyone…” he said quietly, “you have to stop acting like this, it’s too much.”
I looked up to his eyes, he seemed angry for some reason; what did I do? I didn’t remember a thing from after I fell asleep at that time, how long have I been asleep?
“Jack… “ I mumbled, confused, “Release me… I… I’m sorry… please release me…”
Jack looked at me and patted my shoulder, shaking his head. “You’ll run out again, won’t you? Try to run away again? No, Eros. I’m sorry.”
My legs were shaking as I looked at him, my head hurt even more now. “I’m not a dog…” I whimpered, “I’m not… you can just lock me here, I don’t care… but don’t tie me like that…”
Jack sighed, I could see in his eyes that he pitied me, he wanted to release me.
“I’m sorry…” he said, “I’ll go bring you something to eat, ok? It’s going to be fine…”
“Jack…” he left the room, locking the door behind him, and I fell to my knees.
How could he do it to me? After what I been through, after all of that… how could he…
I had no recollection of trying to run away, I didn’t even remember being awake after that time, how long has it been? How long have I been trying to run away, to escape this place? Why?
I decided I wouldn’t cry anymore, not when Jack was around, even if he tied me, he must have had a good reason, maybe I did try to escape, maybe he thought that only locking the room wasn’t good enough, he had a good reason – I told him it never stopped me before, didn’t I?
He came in after a few minutes, carrying a tray filled with everything good he could find.
“Stop looking at me like that.” He said, removing his eyes from me, “I’m not releasing you, not yet. You are sick anyway so just use this time to rest.”
I put on the most miserable face I could, and he tried his best to ignore it, we played this game a few times before – usually I’d win this - But not this time, he just left the food on the floor and left the room without giving me a second look.

The food was good, but the sourness in my throat prevented me from enjoying it, I just took the last bite before the door opened again, and Jack once more came inside.
“Have you calmed down?” he asked me, leaning on the wall.
“I still haven’t got used to being a dog, can’t get over the barking part.” I said bitterly, then gave up to my souring throat and started coughing miserably, Jack leaned next to me and patted on my back, his eyes worried.
“Ah… so that how it’s done.” I said and giggled roughly, smiling at him, he didn’t think it was funny.
“Eros, seriously.” He said and sighed. “I don’t like this anymore than you, I know you’re not a dog or anything like that; don’t make it harder on me.”
Making it harder on him? What about me?! Why couldn’t he make it easier on me? Make it less humiliating?
“Make it harder on YOU?!… You are so stupid.” I muttered, not looking at him as he was so close that my heart started racing. “That’s what you are, you are a selfish, naïve bastard. I HATE you.”
It was funny, actually. When I thought about it. For a few seconds Jack did not move a single inch, he looked at me with hurtful puppy eyes, not even considering any of what I said, didn’t even ask me about it, why, how I got to that conclusion, he usually did in the past, he was interested in me before – now I was just another baggage he had to take care of.
“That’s… good to know.” He said quietly. “I’m really, very sorry.”
He got up and picked up the tray then gone out agitated like I’ve never seen him before, shutting the door behind him.

A week had passed by in that small, dark room, a whole, lonely week in which I haven’t seen any other part of the house for most of the day except for bathroom and bath breaks, a real prison that was, and a horrible one as well. Jack wouldn’t look me in the eyes anymore, Isabel… I didn’t want her looking in my eyes anyway, and every time I did see her, my body unwillingly shuddered in fear, much to Jack’s surprise. And now this, I wanted to cry, I really did.
“Isabel’s brother is moving in for a few months.” Said Jack as he came in with food, looking away from me. “We don’t have a spare room right now, so you’ll have to share yours.”
I looked up at him, but his eyes still avoided mine. “Derek agreed to watch you while he’s here, so…”
“Derek?” I said quietly, I had a suspicion about that Derek’s Identity, a certain teen I never wanted to meet again. “Watch me?” watch me do what? Suck his dick? …Yeah, probably. I felt like throwing up.
Jack moved uncomfortably in place. “Yes, so you’ll share this room and I’ll take off that chain. But you have to listen to him, okay? It’s for your own good.”
“No, it’s not okay.” I said a slight quiver in my voice. “It’s not okay! I… I can’t be in the same room with… with…”
Jack looked surprised, he looked surprised a lot recently, and it started to take over his usual look.
“You haven’t even met him yet, he is a very nice kid.” He said with a calming tone, and, for the first time that week, he looked into my eyes and his hand went through my hair, ruffling it. “Don’t worry; I’m sure he’ll like you.”
I looked at the floor, fighting the tears standing in a line behind my eyes so that they won’t come out.
“Like me… urgh…” I sighed, if only he’d known just how much that guy and all of his friends ‘liked’ me already. “Jack… I’m sorry…” I looked up at him, his grey eyes were staring right at me, and I shivered a bit. Was it coldness in his eyes I saw?
“It’s fine.” He then smiled a soothing, yet still cold, smile and ruffled my hair again. “Just… act normal, okay? Don’t try to run away again, you won’t right?”
I nodded, though, I wasn’t sure anymore that I could keep such a promise, not now, not even to him.
The most horrible thing about this all was – I didn’t even remember running away, I planned to; I talked to him about planning to, but actually doing it? I was sure I didn’t. I couldn’t have.
But, as sure as I was, everything about Jack tone when talking to me was pointing out that he was hurt by the action of running away, of betraying his trust.
What could’ve happened?
I could guess quite easily what happened, it wouldn’t have surprised me if that actually happened, nothing could surprise me anymore, not when it came to things like that.
“I really shouldn’t have said all those stuff that day…” I said eventually, “about… running away, I shouldn’t have.”
Jack looked at me; the coldness did not leave him even now as he removed the lock from the chain at the bed’s end, letting the chain fall in a pile in front of me.
“Yes, you’re right.” He said. “You can come out now, but I forbid you to exit this apartment alone, understood? I can’t risk you running away and getting hurt. ”He only increased the size of my prison, nothing else.
“I don’t want to run away.” I muttered, and as he left whispered to myself: “But I’ll do what I have to…”
The door stayed open behind him, for the first time that week, and maybe more than that, I had a choice to go out of the room on my own, not being supervised or monitored. I didn’t take it.

Derek, Just as I suspected, was the same teen that assaulted me just a few days ago, the blue, icy eyes that were inspecting me now were the same ones evaluating me on the street almost a month ago.
I hid behind Jack during the whole introduction he tried to give us, not noticing the malice both our stares were full of.
“I think he’s scared of me.” Said Derek after Jack finished introducing me, and got closer to us, I hissed at him quietly and gone back a few steps.
Derek smirked and got even closer, surrounding Jack in order to get to me. “Look! He IS afraid of me…” he said disappointed - or at least pretending to be, as I retreated so far from him I actually touched the wall behind me.
Jack watched silently “Eros? Are you alright?” he said, getting closer and reaching for me too.
At that point I did not see a thing, all I saw before me was Derek, his smile sinister and eyes checking my figure out in a way that was threatening to me even more than before.
“Don’t touch me!” I screamed at Jack, closing my eyes and run away from them, back to my room.

I shouldn’t have done that, it was stupid to shout at Jack, to run away. Derek could not do anything to me there, absolutely nothing; Jack would never let him, I just made him more worried about me. How long will it take him to decide that being there is not good for me or for him and return me to the ‘market’? How long before he notices that something is terribly wrong? How long before he’ll force me to tell him?
I hated myself, I hated the fear that became the only thing flowing through my veins, and I hated caring about him, about what he thought of me. Sadly, hating him was much harder; it was, in fact, a bit impossible for me.
The sound of the door shutting behind me startled me and I turned around, just to be face to face with who I considered to be my worst enemy.
“You failed.” He commented and walked past me, smirking smugly. “Miserably”
“Go away…” I muttered. “Get out.”
“You already said that; want me to remind you how that ended?” Derek said, laying his luggage on the floor near my bed. “So, we’re even sharing a bed, huh?” he said.
“I will sleep on the couch in the living room…” I said harshly, there was no way I was going to share a bed with him, I was not going to share anything with him.
“No you won’t.” he said in a decisive tone, “You know why? Because I didn’t get to enjoy myself as much as I wanted, and now I have the chance to continue what I didn’t finish before…”
He was behind me now, his hand feeling and groping my thigh and back side. I closed my eyes tight, released myself from his grip and moved toward the door, not stopping until I got to it, my hand already on the knob.
“Leave me alone! I- I can’t anymore… don’t you think you had enough?!” I said with a shaking voice, looking back at him. “You don’t regard me as anything more than a toy, do you?! I won’t sleep in the same room as you even if it kills me!”
I watched him irritably as he got closer to me, and gasped when he pulled something from his pocket thinking it was that thing, but, it was just a small camera, and for whatever reason - it worried me.
“I wonder…” he said, laying over me and looking into my eyes, I felt like it was even more than that, looking inside me. “What do you think Jack would say of those pictures? You look like you really enjoyed yourself, aren’t you a little slut…” he showed me a little screen on the back of the camera, it was lit and showed a slide-show of everything, every little thing his friends did to me after he let me go, I was watching myself being raped again and again, one or more people at a time. I bit my lip miserably and didn’t say a word, I refused to cry, I couldn’t cry.
“Ah, that’s brutal!” he said, laughing as one of the pictures that was even more disgusting than the rest made me go pale and look aside.
“St- Stop it… please…” I said, closing my eyes in shame “I can’t see it anymore, stop it…”
“So no more annoying speeches, then.” He smiled, removing the camera from my sight. “You are no longer his, Eros - You are mine. Remember that.”
He then gone away from me and sat on my bed, smiling cheerfully and signaling that I should come and sit next to him and the quicker the better. I started walking towards him slowly, biting my lips and trying not to burst in tears.
“Come on, it takes you too much time!” he said angrily, then took my hand and pulled me over, dropping me on the bed and climbing over, confining me to the mattress with his hands as his lips started to go over my shoulders and neck, kissing softly, licking and sucking my skin; I laid there still during all that, not letting myself cry or make a sound as one of his hands started crawling under my shirt toward my chest. I let myself moan as his fingers teased one of my nipples, he smirked.
“Ah, you see? If you just keep doing what I tell you, it’ll be much more pleasant for you…” he whispered in my ear, and then bit it weakly. “Let yourself enjoy it… we’re going to be doing this a lot…”
“Why are you doing this?” I asked bitterly, wiping my eyes from the tears that started forming, looking into his eyes as his hands were busy removing my clothes. “I… I don’t get it… is it that fun to crash me?”
“Stop saying stupid stuff…” He mumbled, he now leaned above me on his knees and unzipped his pants, “actually, you really should stop talking at all.”
I groaned as he entered me, it didn’t hurt like last time, it was weird, it wasn’t less humiliating or less wrong, but it didn’t hurt, it actually felt…
“It feels good, doesn’t it?” he sighed, caressing my cheek, “just keep doing what I tell you to, my little fallen god… I’ll take care of you…”
I moaned in return, closing my eyes in acceptance. What else could I possibly do?

“Do you like him?” Derek looked at me; actually, he looked at my back that was turned at him at the moment. It was the day after, and he already made me do it with him so many times I lost count, all of my body ached and all I wanted to do was sleep and sleep some more, of course – he wouldn’t care about that.
“Like who?” I asked, half asleep and turned to look at him. He just took out a cigarette and lighted it, closing his eyes and sighing.
“Jack, you like him?” he said, “I mean, in that way.”
I blushed and looked away, burying my face in the pillow. “I don’t know, I… I do like him but…”
He smiled, “let me put it this way – would you sleep with him if he asked you to?”
“Never.” I frowned, though I wasn’t too sure about that anymore. “I’m not into man; it’s the other way around.”
He stroked my back with his fingers, his cold, long fingers. “Yeah, whatever you say.”
“What with the small talk?” I asked, it was actually very weird, before this time he’d never said anything to me after finishing, usually he’d just smoke or gone out of the room until the next time, I simply couldn’t find the strength to get up and leave the room, so every time he wanted me I was there, unfortunately for me.
“I’ve been thinking.” He answered and breathed out smoke. “You seem to be okay with what we’re doing after all, I… well, I started wondering if it’s really because of the pictures or…”
I looked at him for a few minutes and got up, barely. “You are blushing.” I sneered at him and went to the closet, hoping to find something wearable. “Don’t worry, I didn’t suddenly start liking you or anything, I hate you all the same as before and I find what we’re… what YOU are doing to me disgusting just like I did yesterday. I just… don’t have another choice.”
It was a bit mean of me to say that, and as he stayed quiet I started to worry, insulting people in a powerful position was the stupidest thing to do, even if they did ask for it, and for whatever reason it had become sort of a hobby for me, a very dangerous hobby. I could feel his leer on my back as I put on my pants and turned around restlessly to find him right behind me. He grabbed my hand and forced me to look at him. We looked each other in the eyes for a few long minutes in which he hasn’t said a word, and neither did I.
It all happened quiet suddenly; I could never have expected it - He moved towards me swiftly and all of a sudden his smoky tasting lips were on mine, his tongue joined soon enough as well, forcing itself inside of my mouth. Surprisingly enough, considering that I had sex countless times with too many people – it was him who just stole my first kiss.
I shoved him away but he just pinned me to the closet door and continued to force the kiss on me, his hand started creeping into my pants and over my groin. I moaned between the kisses, closing my eyes.
“S-stop it… it’s too much.” I whispered, trying to release myself from his grip.
“Stop talking already.” said angrily, “You’re so annoying, just talking nonsense all the time…” He scratched my inner thigh and licked my neck just above the collar, holding me forcefully. I closed my eyes in pain, getting back at me this way was the best way, he knew that he can do whatever to me and I won’t say a thing. For the - who knows what - time that day, we were going to do it again, and it was going to be painful, only… right then someone knocked on the door.
Derek immediately pulled his hand from inside my pants and withdrew a few steps from me, looking at me meaningfully. I gulped, looking at the door, the door knob shook a bit and the door opened, revealing Jack behind it.
He looked at the both of us puzzled “is everything okay? I haven’t seen you two since yesterday, thought you might be hungry.”
He gave me a suspicious look; I looked aside and shook it away. “Everything’s fine, we… we were… huh…”
The view was very weird, I guess. It took me a few minutes to understand why Jack stared at me, and I zipped my pants closed the fastest I was capable of. Derek chuckled as I looked away innocently from the both of them, redder than a tomato.
“I was helping him to pick out clothes.” Derek recovered very quickly “You have a terrible taste Jack, I always thought Isabel was exaggerating when she talked about that.”
Jack seemed a bit insulted. “ah… yeah, I guess I do…” he scratched his cheek in embarrassment, “well, if you want you can go out , and, you know, go shopping, I’ll give you money if you’d like.”
That was bad, very, very bad. I stared at Jack as he pulled out his wallet, handing a smiling Derek a few hundreds without even blinking.
“I… I think you should come with us!” I hurried to suggest, ignoring the murderous look Derek sneaked at me, Jack being there just reminded me of how much I didn’t want to be alone with Derek for even one more minute, and the last two days were already too much.
“That’s a nice Idea…” said Jack, winking at me, Derek, on the other hand, looked very upset about that.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea…” he said, “I… um…” he couldn’t find an excuse, I smiled to myself proudly. I managed to turn a very bad situation to a fairly good one. I wouldn’t have to be alone with him, at least for now. Though, he would probably punish me later.
“Okay then!” Jack looked cheerful, “where should we go?”

“Take that ridiculous hat off…” Jack sighed as we went to his car, he tried to yank the hat I was wearing off my head but I immediately slapped his hand slightly and gave him an angry stare.
“I always wear it when I go out…” I mumbled, looking away from him, my eyes rested on Derek, and our looks crossed for a single moment, he smirked in a mean way at me, making me shudder. He knew the reason I chose to wear that repulsive hat, he knew that I wanted to hide the obvious sign of my status that was embedded in my forehead so that I won’t have any more encounters like the one when he and I met the first time.
“Yeah, you really should take it off; it hides your beautiful hair.” He said cheerfully. “Or, at least buy one that is not so ugly.”
“Humph…” I looked away from him, pulling the hat further down my forehead, hurrying my steps. Him saying that my hair was beautiful, saying it in this tone… I felt my face burning and wondered why the hell I feel so flattered, after all - he wasn’t… complimenting me or anything, was he? He probably just meant it as a way of making fun of me.
I knew what I said before about hating him might have done something, probably hurt his pride, I would never have guessed that he’d try to win me over after that; it was a ridiculous idea – there was no way he would ever do that…
When we got to the car I hurried to the back seat, hoping that Derek would choose to sit in the front seat. That was a false hope. He sat not only close to me, but attached to me, Jack sat at the wheel and looked back at us through the mirror, smiling.
“I’m glad you get along after all.” He said and started the car, “I was kind of worried at the beginning, I guess you sorted things out?”
I nodded carefully, and Derek smiled at him until Jack turned his head back to the road, looking satisfied.
Suddenly I felt Derek’s hand on my waist and his breath hot against my ear. “Don’t make a sound…” he whispered, his eyes watching Jack to see if he’s looking while his hand started going down to my thigh and from there to my groin, I followed his hand with my eyes, biting my lips.
“Derek… please don’t - not here…” I whispered. Jack decided to put music, a fairly loud one so he couldn’t have heard me, but Derek still looked pissed.
“Shut up and fucking deal with it.” His hand pressed and massaged the area through the fabric of my pants, causing my face to turn red from the effort not to make a sound.
“It’s a good thing we’re going to buy clothes, isn’t it?” he giggled in a way I found mostly evil. His hand continued doing… whatever it was doing that made me feel like I was about to burst, even more forcefully than before.
“Jack…” My voice was so quiet I could barely hear it as I moaned his name; Derek stared at me angrily and moved his hand away, leaving me in a very… ‘Hard’ situation to handle. And just then Jack decided to look in the mirror.
“Is everything okay back there?” he asked, his voice overclouding the loud music as he looked at me through the rear mirror. “Eros…”
Oh shit. Shit, shit, shit! He saw it, he must have seen it. I closed my eyes harshly and covered the area, blushing even more, if that was even possible.
There was quite the embarrassing silence for a few minutes, a few very long minutes, at least in my vision.
“Are you feeling sick? You want me to pull over?” I should have known, it’s Jack, after all. Who else won’t realize my situation even while so obvious? He wouldn’t have known even if I was naked in front of his eyes, would he?
“I…” my voice sounded like a wounded kitten cry, I had to get over myself. “I just have to… uh… Go. ”
Yeah, sure. That was a good idea. Derek smirked to himself, ignoring the hurt looks I threw his way.
“Um, sure, fine.” Jack seemed hesitant. “We should be near a gas station soon enough. Are you sure you’re okay? If you’re feeling sick you should just tell me and we’ll go back home.”
Why the hell was he so nice, how could there be someone as annoyingly nice as him? It drove me crazy.
“It’s fine; j-just pull over somewhere.” I mumbled, as long as I could find someplace hidden to do my… business at, preferably a locked place, I couldn’t care less.


“Are you excited, Gentlemen? I can see you are! Well, you have a very good reason to be!”
All that noise, the screaming, the cheers… they threw numbers in the air, crazy, out of the range I’d even known.
“Would you take a look at that, my good Gentlemen? Our next Item is a very rare one, indeed it is!”
A slight push from behind me, forcing me to walk forward into the blinding lights, lights that even went through the thick cloth that covered my eyes, not allowing me to see a thing.
Someone laughed a few meters away from me, and soon after I felt a small pinch in my backside, I bit my lip so I won’t cry from the pain, though I was, actually, already crying.
Even being I little child I still knew that I was in danger, that standing naked and blindfolded in front of so many people… it was wrong, it was humiliating.
A sudden flash of light startled me and I slipped, falling on my back; everyone laughed until someone pulled me back up on my knees, ripping off the cover that was on my eyes in the process.
“Stand up. Worm.” I recognized the voice of one of the men who took me from the alley, and turned to look at him, he slapped me instantly, causing me to fall again.
“Stop…” no, I shouldn’t talk; they’ll just get angrier at me. “Stop hitting me! It hurts…”
I didn’t realize that I was shouting until the whole room became silent, they were all looking at me, the crowd looked confused and the one who talked so loudly before seemed to be angry as he came closer and whispered something in the other guy’s ear.
“Sedate him if you have to, just keep him calm!” he said in a threatening tone before returning to his post; rising the microphone to his mouth.
“Very sorry for the interruption, as you can see it has a very… aggressive spirit. I’m sure some of you would find it very fun to tame this feisty kitten, eh?”
The cheers were back on, ear deafening.
The other guy looked at me angrily and pulled me up on my legs, and then he pulled my hair so that I won’t move and put a small bottle under my nose, forcing me to inhale the fumes coming out of it.
“This’ll keep you quiet.”
I coughed for a little while as the fumes started, a bit by bit, to do their thing. It was so sudden; my sight became blurry and I felt my brain getting clouded. I couldn’t even feel pain anymore, only the weird, tingling sensation down my spine and after a few minutes – my whole body.
Trying to breathe was becoming hard for me; slowly I began to lose consciousness and the only thing keeping me on my legs was the hand of that man holding me up.
The only thing clear to me was the talking, the yelling and cheering. He talked about me in a way you’d describe a rare painting, indicating every strong point about me, and even turning my faults into something someone in that audience could probably enjoy. They were slowly, a piece by piece, tearing apart anything that could make me remotely human; from now on I was a slave, and no more than that.

Jack… you sure you don’t want me to take some of the bags?” I looked at… what was Jack just an hour ago and now became what looked like a creature made of shopping bags.
“No, no it’s okay, you kids have fun.” His dim voice came through two or three bags that sat in front of the place his mouth was supposed to be.
Fun. Yeah, I guess it was kind of fun. For that last hour I managed to forget anything bad. This place, filled with people who doesn’t know what I am – which I had the ‘horrible, ugly hat’ as Jack called it to thank for – people who, for a change, doesn’t look at me strangely for just being out, for having a clue of happiness on my face. For that last hour I was human. I was free.
Even Derek wasn’t as… as nasty as usual, he did once in a while throw a mean comment about me, and actually took every chance he could to pinch or caress me in certain places, but the look in his eyes was different.
“Hey, don’t you think that would look great on Eros?” Derek said loudly, stopping in front of a store that sold, well, there was no simple way to describe it other than woman clothes.
I looked at him viciously. “It won’t. I’m a man.”
The piece he pointed at was… beautiful, actually. It would never have looked good on me or any other man for that matter; I did have a manly figure, skinny, perhaps. But manly. Or so I liked to think.
Jack’s eye picked through the mountain of bags on the garment. “Oh, you are right Derek; it would look nice on him.”
My face became red; they were mocking me – the both of them.
“S-shut up!” I mumbled and turned my back at them. “I think we done enough shopping, for today at least…”
“Yeah, let’s go eat something, before this guy gets any greedier…” Derek smiled and patted my shoulder, caressing my nape and making me shudder as he passed around me.
“You bought most of those, not me.” I reminded him and hurried to Jack’s side, grabbing a few of the bags he carried.
“You really think I’ll look good in woman clothes?” I asked him, of course, I was forced, in the past – to wear costumes and dresses, but back then I was so much younger, and kids can wear anything. Can’t they?
I hurried to shake that thought off my mind; I don’t have to remember that now. I shouldn’t, really.
“You don’t look so insulted by that thought.” Jack smiled. “Any hobbies I should be aware of, Eros?”
“D-don’t be ridiculous!” I almost yelled, reddening and causing Derek to look back at us. He smirked in a way that scared me a bit, I had a feeling that this day was about to end in a very miserable way, just like it started.

“Ah… look, there’s a ‘Market’ branch here.” Derek was standing right in the corner of one of the walls; we got to him after just a few minutes, and found ourselves standing right in front of what seemed like the biggest store in the whole place.
“I don’t want to go in.” I said automatically, staring at the loaded place with a fixed expression, I could find with my eyes several containers that stood empty, as if waiting just for me to be thrown inside – beaten and alone, separated from the whole world by a thick layer of glass.
“Well. Than you can wait outside for now, I want to see it.” Derek sneered and started walking towards it, not looking back at Jack and me.
“You can go in if you want…” I told Jack, who looked at me and Derek worryingly. “I’ll wait for you here.”
“No, I’m not leaving you alone.” Oh, right. He was still afraid I would run away… “Just come in with us, nothing scary would happen to you while you’re with me, right?”
I nodded, looking away from him to hide my face. He knew nothing. “Fine, but I really don’t want to.”
We entered the store, catching up with Derek who was standing by one of the containers, looking at the slave inside.
The slave watched us through the glass with eyes that looked empty; it was as if it… HE was looking directly at me, inside me. He knew what I was, he could see through. I shuddered and looked away, he was as young as I was when I was taken, and already looked like he’d been there for ages, experienced so much…
“He’s beautiful…” said someone behind us, actually – behind me. While I was mesmerized by the look of that slave, they moved to the next one, leaving me all alone.
I didn’t gave a single look to the man behind me and started looking around frantically in search of them, could they have left the store? I couldn’t find them anywhere, not by the containers, not by the shelves that sold accessories, nowhere.
I froze in place when a hand was put on my shoulder. “Are you lost, boy?” the voice from before said, right behind me.
“I… I’m fine.” I whispered, “Leave me alone, please.”
His hand moved from my shoulder to my nape, I turned around quickly and stared at him angrily. “I asked you to leave me alone.” I said slowly, trying to hide my shaking hands. “I’m okay on my own.”
“Yeah, you really always managed on your own, didn’t you?” he said, smiling, his appearance so familiar it was frightening to me.
He… who was he? I took a few steps back. “I… I don’t know you, do I?” I tried to put on the ‘normal’ mask, hide the fear in my eyes. He was from the market, he must have been. That is why I couldn’t remember- he must have been one of those memories I tried so hard to forget.
“Only been out for a few weeks and already acting like a normal, spoiled kid, aren’t you? That’s really a record, #69-9875.”
I froze again, looking at him fearfully as he came even closer. That was my serial number - that was my name for seven years.
“You were such an annoying little kid when they brought you in –crying and screaming and crying some more over the littlest things, as if you were brought from a royalty family and not from the trash.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I said, trying to get myself together. “You really shouldn’t bother people like that, you’ll get arrested.”
I found the courage - finally, to walk by him toward the door, I really didn’t expect him to grab my hand. “Still afraid of needles?” he whispered in my ear, bending my arm against my back.
I bit my lip; I now knew who he was. “Still beating up little, innocent kids with a metal rod?” I answered scornfully, releasing my hand from him. “Leave me alone, I don’t belong to the ‘Market’ anymore, I never would again.”
He sneered at me, “how long ‘never’ is going to be this time? If I were to judge by earlier cases - you soon will be back on your knees. Must be good for you over there, all the fancy clothes, fancy food… to think that the only thing you have to give up is your pride, huh?”
I didn’t speak back for a few minutes, he was right, wasn’t he? I was nothing but someone’s pet – was it Jack who dressed me up like a little entertainment dog or Derek – who used me in the worst ways possible.
“I need to find my… master.” I whispered, it didn’t feel right – calling Jack that. “If you don’t need anything else… actually, even if you do I really don’t care, you can’t do anything to me, so just leave me alone.”
He let go of my hand and I turned away from him, starting to walk, but something, I didn’t know what it was, why this urge has suddenly burst inside me –
“If I wouldn’t have gone with them that day…” I looked back at him, “If I run… could it change anything?”
His dark eyes kept staring at me quietly, I knew the answer, and there was nothing he could say to me that would ever change it.
“I was meant to be a slave, wasn’t I?” I said with a broken voice, “You just mark people and decide they would be good as merchandise, don’t you?! Please, tell me I could’ve changed this! that it’s my fault I ended up like that, please tell me I could’ve had a normal life…”
“It’s not your fault.”

I ran away. I ran so fast I didn’t notice the hat flying off my head, didn’t notice the people I bumped into and their looks, didn’t notice I was already outside the store.
Why did I have to ask? I knew already… I knew there was nothing to be done, how could I ever hold that little hope that whatever it was that made me into this could be changed when it never was my choice to begin with?
I found a bench and sat on it, breathing heavily and groaning in pain as my sides started aching. People were looking at me, perhaps thinking who dresses a slave in such expensive clothes or let them go alone, I spotted a few looks that made me shudder, so I lowered my head and tried to ignore it all, waiting for Jack to find me.
“Why wouldn’t he come?” I whispered to myself, “didn’t that damned thing have a tracker or something? Argh…”
I put my hand over the little stone, it was cold and its edges were sharp and rough. Sadly, even though it looked so simple, removing that thing was impossible, it would be like removing a vital organ of some sort while being awake - it would hurt so much it could even wake a dead man.
Even just touching it… I could already feel the poison starting to flow through that little needle in the edge of my nape, burning the area around it in such a painful way, yet not leaving any visible sign.
I removed my hand, sighing in relief as the pain began to fade away. This kind of thing – I’ve done it a few times before, it helped me focus on the pain rather than what was happening around or to me; which most of the time was someone really ugly raping me, or the endless beating after being rude to someone, it was useful and I hated it.
What do I do now? I asked myself bitterly. I guessed that Jack and Derek were looking for me right now, they will soon find me, but do I really, honestly want them to?
“Jack… I need you…” I whispered, I had to talk to him before I do anything, I had to know what he thinks, I had to know that even though he was so cold toward me lately, he still feels some of that pity that caused him to buy me instead of all the others…

“Eros!” the voice startled me; I looked behind me to find Derek running toward me, I lowered my head when he got to me, he seemed upset – but not as much as I was. Why. Why it had to be him who found me, why not Jack?!
He stood before me, looking at me with angry eyes. “Where the hell were you? Jack is convinced you ran away!” He shouted at me, holding and shaking me by the shoulders until I lifted my head.
“You were the ones who left me behind in that place…” I whispered, looking into his eyes, furious. “So don’t shout at me or tell me what to do, I don’t fucking belong to you.”
I lowered my head again and sat back on the bench. He sat next to me, he looked worried… did I overreact?
“What happened?” he whispered, then came closer. “Wait, didn’t we say you DO belong to me?”
“Stop joking around” I said looking away from him annoyed, he smirked and put his hand on my thigh.
“Seriously,” he whispered in my ear, “What happened? You’re even more grumpy than usual.”
“No. I’m not. Where’s Jack?” I tried to change the subject, he didn’t buy that, his hand squeezed my hip strongly. “I’m fine, stop already.” I hissed, and he finally let go.
“You didn’t let anyone else touch you, did you?” he said after a few moments of silence, “because, if you did I will not let it go. Ever.”
“You are evil.” I said and looked away from him; my eyes ran back into the ‘Market’ and I caught a glimpse of one of the slave’s stare, green, big and empty eyes, my eyes…
“You know how slaves are ‘made’?” I whispered. Derek stared at me like I just fell out of the sky. “They choose them in advance; everything is arranged before the child is even born, you don’t have any choice at all…you can’t run away from it…” I said bitterly, dropping my head. He wouldn’t understand, why did I even bother? He didn’t even treat me like a human being anyway.
“Eros… that’s why you’re so depressed all of a sudden?” he asked, then pulled me to him, putting my head on his lap. “You have such idiotic reasons, really.”
I didn’t answer him for a few long minutes, I didn’t move either – his cold hands on my shoulder suddenly seemed comforting and warm, I could be honest with him, he might hit me and make me do humiliating things if I am, but he’ll listen…
“I always thought that it was my fault alone.” I whimpered, “that I shouldn’t have come with those guys, that if I didn’t I would have lived a normal life now… but I didn’t fucking have that choice to begin with…”
“You know, I really hate seeing you crying about something I didn’t cause.” Derek warped a strand of my hair around one of his fingers. “Cheer up, let’s go find Jack.”
I got up, wiping my eyes and smiling bitterly. “You really are evil. And soft.” I said getting away from him as he tried to hit the back of my head. He was annoyed, but I could see a smile on his lips, at least I wanted to think so.
We walked together for a while, both keeping our mouths shut and avoiding each other’s looks.
“Jack! I found him!” Derek yelled suddenly, alerting me. I looked up to see Jack running toward us, he had a very worried look on his face and was sweating badly, and when he got closer I could also see how mad he was. It was a bit scary, and, while I didn’t think that could ever happen – Derek became my shelter from the angry looks as he came closer.
“Eros!” He yelled, he pushed Derek aside, really pushed him! Then he grabbed my shoulders. “You don’t know how worried I was! I thought you ran away again!”
I gulped and looked to my side, on Derek. “I… you… you left me behind… I…” I mumbled, unable to get the words out, I never seen Jack like this, I didn’t think he even had the capability to look this angry.
Jack felt how startled I was by him, and calmed himself down. “I can’t have you running around like this, Eros…” he whispered, “You will get hurt, there are really bad people out there, you need to stay with me…”
I pulled away from him. “Don’t you think I know that?! I’m not a little child!” I hissed, “You were the ones who left me behind to look at people being put on display! I was there all along, waiting for you to come for me, but you weren’t smart enough to just use the damn tracking device and come get me! You can’t blame me for this!”
Jack reached to grab me again, but I got away, looking at him angrily. “Don’t touch me! You’re just going to tie me up again, aren’t you?!”
People were starting to gather around us, from the corner of my eyes I could see the guy from the ‘Market’ staring at me - everyone stared at me…
I remembered my hat wasn’t there anymore, they all could see what I was. I trembled a bit, looking on Jack. He wasn’t to blame for being worried, I lost control again…
I wiped the tears from my eyes quietly and averted them toward Derek, who just STOOD there, smoking one of his stinking cigarettes indifferently.
“No.” Jack said quietly, and then came closer, I retreated from him, my mind became blank and I felt the fear taking over me, fear of Jack? Was I afraid of him? He grabbed my arm and I let a little yelp out, but it didn’t alert him, he pulled me over and hugged me, “I’m not going to tie you, I’m sorry…”
Derek looked aside from us; I could sense that he was pissed.
“You are right, Eros, I have no right to be angry of you.” He said, “I promised to you that you’ll be safe with me and then left you behind, I’m sorry.”
I grabbed the fabric of his shirt and wrinkled it in my fingers, whimpering softly. “Don’t be angry on me… don’t tie me…”
“I’m not and I never would… I promise…” he said in a soft voice, “Come on, let’s go get you a new hat, okay? Everything is okay….”
He called Derek and gave him a harsh look; Derek only sighed and threw his cigarette away, walking behind us. I could feel his stare on my back as we walked, my hand held in Jack’s, both tense and untrusting.
This day has gone wrong, so fucking wrong.

How does the ‘Market’ system works? Where do the slaves come from? How are they chosen?
Three stages are taken in order to find and get the right, qualitative slaves into the ‘Market’ for selling.
First, there are the Trackers. A group – not necessarily belonging with the ‘Market’, who were responsible of finding information about potentially befitting families with children or about to have them, mostly poor people, preferably girls who got pregnant too young and didn’t want the child, also – finding children living in the street is also within the job description.
After the information is sold, once a month to the ‘Market’ or to some other institution of the sort, though there weren’t many who dared to compete the ‘Market’ empire in that area, a couple of people are sent to ‘check the merchandise’, either by seeing the kid himself if already born and big enough to walk, or by getting a sense of how the child would look like from the parents, after all – ugly people and cripples were not the best merchandise, they sold for much less money and it cost more to hold them. Also, checking for diseases was very important, especially with poor people and children who lived on the street.
After everything is checked for quality and a decision is made, they would start negotiation with the family if present and if not - the child would be tracked down and taken on the spot.
Most of the families were cooperative most of the time; the amounts of money offered would blind them from the terrible fate they condemned the children to. If they wouldn’t play along the ‘Market’ had other ways to get to them beginning with blackmailing, bribe, and ‘accidents’ that suddenly happened to random family members and people around them. Everyone gave up in the end…
And if they didn’t, there was always that one other option.

I screamed, why did they hurt me like that? What did I do wrong?! Someone slapped me and I screamed again, moving my head from side to side to get away from their hands, trying to grab me, to hold me down.
“Sedate that stupid kid!” someone shouted, “I can’t hear those fucking screams anymore!”
“We gave him all the drugs we can without giving him poisoning!” answered the men trying to hold me down, “The little bitch just won’t calm down!”
I saw his hand coming to cover my mouth and hurried to bite it, the men pulled his hand away with a small yelp and slapped me once more, then he tied both my hands behind me and stuck something in my mouth, I gaged on it and tried to spit it out, but it only chocked me more.
“Calm the fuck down! Little annoying slut.” He cursed and took a pair of forceps grabbing with them a small stone from a tray beside me; he held it carefully above my forehead. It was actually white hot – I could feel the heat more and more as he lowered it.
“I really hope this hurts you. A lot.” He said, smiling at me as he finally and carefully pushed it against me forehead. Saying that it hurt was going to be a big understatement, I couldn’t even call it a torture. It was worse.
I tried to scream, but what came out of my blocked mouth were a couple of miserable whimpers. I could almost feel my skin burning and melting under the little stone, making room for it. I closed my eyes in pain and tried to scream again, but no sound came out of my mouth.
I wanted to cry, a drop of blood fell into one of my eyes and I couldn’t see anything anymore, I tried to release my hands from the binding but it was too tight.
“We usually don’t give this to slaves before they had been first bought, you know?” he said, getting the gloves he was wearing off his hands and into the trash. “A real torture, this is. But better sooner than later with little sluts, I say. Don’t you agree?”
He patted on my shoulder before leaving me there, squirming in pain, unable to move.

Third day. It was two days since they kidnapped me from the street, the day before was a big blur to me, I didn’t want to remember what happened, and no one wanted to tell me either. It was bad, it must have been bad, my whole body felt stiff and hurtful and in the morning I couldn’t move, on the sheets they let me sleep on there was a big puddle of blood, my blood. My hands were bound and my face bruised; something terrible happened to me last night, something truly horrifying.
And now this? What did I do to make them so angry of me? I was living quietly before that… I might have stolen food once in a while, but I really tried to stay out of people’s way, not to do anything bad…
I closed my eyes, refusing to give up on the screams of pain in spite of the cloth in my mouth – the voices I made were loud enough to annoy the people in the white room I was held in and one of them came over, the same one with the metal rod who gave me the shots in the first day. He looked at me for a while with hateful eyes and then pulled me by the hair to a sitting position, pulling the cloth from my mouth. I gasped for air for a single moment before attempting the screaming act again, but he preceded me and pushed two of his finger inside my mouth, I gaged and tried to bite, he gave me a furious look.
“Don’t you dare. I’ll shove this so deep in there it will come out of your ass.” He waved his metal rod in front of my eyes and I knew he was being serious about it.
“You promise you won’t scream again?” he said quietly, “If you do I’ll give you something that will make the pain go away, but you must be quiet and follow orders, or else those nice people and I will make your stay here very unpleasant.”
I nodded; they scared me, waving those rods around. Adults were scary and mean…
“Good, open your mouth wide.” He said and started picking around in his pockets with one hand, the other one still stuck inside my mouth.
He pulled out a little round box with pills in it and opened it, extracting two of the pills.
“There you go, the pain will disappear after you take these.” He said, “And the controller seems to have settled in nicely, you won’t even have a scar.”
He took his fingers out and wiped them on my cloth – the small, short white tunic that barely covered my private areas which they made me wear since getting there.
“I want to go home…” I whispered after he let me swallow the pills, pulling my legs to me and burying my face between them, the pain was slowly fading and my mind became a bit clearer. “I don’t want to stay here… they lied to me, I want to go back…”
He looked at me before heading back to his friends and waved my words off. “This is your home now kid; all you can do now is pray that you’ll find a better one soon.”
I was going crazy.
It was the first time in a long time that all of us, minus Derek who was out with his friends, sat together at the table and ate dinner together, it wasn’t easy, having to look Isabel in the eyes after all that happened. Apparently I was wrong about she and Derek looking almost exactly alike, her eyes were far more malicious than his, I didn’t feel even a bit comfortable around her. Not that Derek was that much of a good company – he was blackmailing and raping me, and evidently seemed to be pissed on me all the time.
I ate quietly, evading the looks from both Jack and Isabel; they were talking between themselves, but not really.
It was a cold, heavy conversation. And I was the cause of that.
I got up and took my half empty plate to the kitchen, my appetite died out quicker than I thought it would under the cold stares. I wanted to go outside, to breathe air different than the one inside this horrible apartment or any other closed space.
I looked at Jack miserably, knowing he wouldn’t let me do as I wanted. Not now, perhaps never. He did tell me that I may go out with Derek if I wanted to, but hanging out with his friends wasn’t exactly the most… safe thing for me to do. And being with him alone also wasn’t that fun. I wanted to be alone with myself. That, perhaps, was a thing I was not going to get anymore.
“Eros?” I heard Jack’s voice calling me and turned to look at him, he looked expressionless. I smiled artificially at him, trying to avoid Isabel stare.
“I don’t feel so good; I’m going to my room.” I said slowly, it wasn’t lying if I really felt like throwing up, was it?
Jack didn’t answer me and I hurried to get inside the room and close the door behind me, my legs failed me right then and I fell to the floor on my knees. I don’t know why that was, but I suddenly really felt sick, I was tired and my head swirled as if I’d been awake for days. I crawled to my bed in the dark, finding my way slowly on the cold floor.
I was locked up in my own life, what I was… there was no way to change it, there was no way to extract the poison from my veins, no way to pull out the small device implanted in my skull, no way to shake all of this away.
I was inside another glass container, a bigger one, a broader one. But still…
I crawled under the bed covers, digging into the mattress with my body.
The door opened behind me with a squeak, Jack voice called my name and I soon felt his weight on the mattress and his hand on my back, caressing it above the covers, I pretended I was sleeping, and I knew he could see right through my act.
Neither of us said a word for a few, very long minutes.
Finally I turned around to look at him, my sight was blurry but I still could see his eyes, the warm little spark…
We stared each other in the eyes for a few long minutes, I felt tears coming to my eyes as he leaned toward me, was he going to do this? No, I wasn’t ready for that… he wouldn’t do that…
He hugged me and placed a small kiss on my forehead, ever so slightly, I barely felt it.
“You don’t have a fever…” he pointed out and laid me down back on the mattress while he remained above me, his hands carefully pinning me down “do you want to tell me what’s going on with you? Running away, being like this? Why are you so depressed?”
My eyes burned from the tears, I wanted to wipe them off, those thoughts running through my mind, to erase them, eliminate them.
“Don’t you like it here?”
Why did his voice sound do broken?
“Get… off me…” I whispered, looking away from him. “I… I don’t hate it here. I hate being locked away in here. I hate being kept like a valuable object or some animal. And I despise you for being just like everyone else!” I released myself from under him and got up, I sat, laying on the wall behind me and staring at him. He didn’t understand, I knew he wouldn’t. “You said you wouldn’t be like them, you promised… but you lock me the same, you take my freedom, you treat me like I’m a rare animal of some sorts that needs to be kept in a cage.”
I looked aside, I didn’t let myself cry, I promised to myself that I won’t, he wouldn’t see me weak again. I wasn’t going to be a mindless slave. It wasn’t my fault; this wasn’t meant to be me!

He said my name, he whispered it in my ear, he was so close to me my heart felt weak. “Eros…”
His warm breath scalded my neck slightly as he got closer. His eyes scared me and I quickly got away, tripping out of the bed.
He sat down on the mattress, sighing. “I don’t get it.” He said and got up, getting closer to me again, he managed to catch and grab my wrist. “What the hell happened to you when you ran away that messed you up like that? One day you’re happy and okay and acting normal and the next you stay all day in your room and say you don’t feel well. I don’t want to let you go because I’m worried something else will happen to you, something worse!”
“Coating the cage’s bars with gold doesn’t make it less of a cage.” I mumbled, “And I don’t even remember running away! You keep saying that I did, but all I remember is… is…” my body was shaking as I remembered what happened. I hurried to shake it off. “I fell asleep on my bed, and when I woke up you tied me and said I run away. You didn’t even give me an explanation, you just said I did and locked me away…”
“You were gone for three days!” he yelled, grabbing my shoulders. “Three days! Tell me now that I shouldn’t have been that worried about letting you go out again. I was afraid you were gone, that someone had done something bad to you, that you might have died!”
We both stood there silently after he finished yelling, someone, probably Isabel, knocked on the door, we both ignored that.
I didn’t really think about anything at that moment, the next thing I knew our faces were so close we could actually rub noses; we looked in each other’s eyes, his grey, warm eyes…
It was different from when Derek had stolen my first kiss, it wasn’t forceful and his lips didn’t taste of smoke, and it ended quickly and suddenly just like it started.
Shit. I kissed him. I actually kissed him. Or was it the other way around? Someone kissed someone and it didn’t matter what way you looked at it. It was bad.
I hurried to push him away and ran to my bed, entrenching myself underneath the covers. “G… go away! Get out!” I yelled, than stayed quiet until I heard his steps to the door and it’s closing behind him, he didn’t say a word to me, he didn’t even bother talking!
After a few seconds the door opened again and the covers were pulled from above me, Jack stood there, holding out a jacket for me.
“Get out of bed.” He said, “Now. We’re going out.”
I looked at him shocked and he pulled me out of bed, throwing the jacket at me. “Come on already, we need to talk about what just happened.”